10 Things You Learn ‘RV-ing’ Across the U.S. with Your Spouse
I love lists. There’s no 2 ways about it. If it weren’t for lists, I’d probably walk around running into walls half the time. They help me get things done and keep things organized. Morgan and I had a HUGE running list of stuff we needed for this trip, and we still forgot a few things, but not nearly as many as we would have without double and triple checking our RV prep list.
But on a trip of this scale, you can’t prepare for everything. Sometimes you just have to learn as you go. With that in mind, here’s a list of some of the things you learn when driving across the country in an RV for the first time with your spouse.
1) Space no longer is ‘Personal’, it’s Premium, because there’s not much of it inside an RV. You better learn how to share…everything. Yes, that means even your toothbrush at times (b/c your wife will lose hers 4 days into the trip…ahem Morgan).
2) “Is it my turn to empty the shit carriage?” (Preferably said in an English accent) becomes a real question. Someone’s gotta do it.
3) “Wait don’t flush that! I have to go too” becomes a real statement. You need to conserve water in an RV, and limiting your flushes is one way to do it. (Number 1s only though. We have to draw a line somewhere)
4) You become your partner’s driving wing man/woman. When they need something, you better be there for them. If you’ve ever driven a large RV, you know what I mean. It’s work, and it’s a bit nerve-racking knowing that you’re driving a metal box the size of a house down the highway with little to no experience doing so, sometimes through mildly treacherous canyons or steep wooded mountain passes, and everyone seems to be OK with this. So if your partner is driving the RV, you better show up.
If they want a banana, you better hand feed it to them so they don’t have to take their hands off the wheel.
If they want a song on the radio, you better change it for them, and help them sing the damn choruses.
If they’re having a panic attack because a strong desert wind just blew you off the road for the 6th time in 2 hours, you better sweet talk them down from the edge (Side note – an RV might as well be a kite in really windy conditions)
5). The RV might as well be a kite in strong winds. As referenced above…It really needs to be said twice. Seriously, Beware.
6) Airing up the tires can cause some problems. Mind numbing, ‘punch a complete stranger in the face’ type of problems. Only joking, but you get the point. For example, I forgot there were six total tires on the RV, and only filled up the outside 4 on my first attempt. Fail.
On Morgan’s first try, she parked the RV on top of the air hose, and couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working. Not to mention every tire gauge seems to have mood swings, or we can’t get them to work properly. One of the two… Rookies.
7) Gas stations become your saving grace, especially when you’re near empty and you’ve been driving for over an hour in the desert somewhere near IHaveNoIdeaWhereWeAre, New Mexico, and every cheesy roadtrip horror movie ever made is playing in your head.
8) Showers are for quickly getting clean, not for relaxation. And they’re usually optional unless you’re covered in mud, or worse.
9) You have never in your life dreaded the question “Where is my…?” more than on an RV roadtrip. Because the answer is pretty much always “I have no clue but my guess is it’s probably buried somewhere in the steel box we’re currently calling our home.” Or something like “Sorry, I don’t know where your brown Cardigan is, Morgan. If we’re lucky, it’s in the RV still. And if it is… It might be under that pile is stuff over there. Which pile you ask? The one the dogs are laying on. That one. Covered in dog hair…And slobber. Yep. Awesomesauce.
10) And last but definitely not least, you find out why you married your spouse in the first place, and how lucky you are to have them. (Dawwwww 🙂 ).Their quick whit. Their problem solving skills. Their ability (or lack there of ) to read a map. Their sense of humor when you make fun of them. You know, the important stuff.
So next time your significant other (or friend) suggests a roadtrip, get a plan together, pack your bags, check your ego at the RV door, and hit the open road. You won’t regret it, I promise. And you’ll learn some things about yourself along the way.